I Miss You

The pain in my heart

Will never suffice the hole you fill.

You are no longer here

To be my other half

Making me feel vulnerable,

Fragile, and hurt.

I am never going to be safe again

Because you’re no longer here.

I miss you every day

And yearn to feel you next to me every night.

I miss you more every second

And yearn to be next to you every hour.

Sometimes I wonder why we split

Because it seems like a wasteful thing.

Everything is perfect

Until those words escape your mouth.

Our connection is impenetrable.

Our connection is powerful.

Our connection is indestructible.

Our connection is everlasting…

Sometimes I still don’t understand

Why I agree

When I really don’t

Because it hurts too much.

Why do I agree?

Why do I agree?
Why do I agree?

Just why?

Every passing moment

Stings my heart

Like a bee

Reminding me of the pain.

I should say something

But I can’t fathom the words.

I should express my feelings

But I can’t fathom how.

I feel powerless.

I feel hopeless.

I feel useless.

I feel empty.

Why would I intervene?

If your happiness is my number one priority,

Shouldn’t I let you do whatever you desire

So that you’re still happy?

Every night I lie in bed

Wondering and questioning

Whether you’re happier or not.

Most nights I cannot sleep

And I wonder if my heart still needs you here.

It feels impossible

To ever repeat the past

Because I love you too much.

I still love you deeply and earnestly

Never forgetting to cherish our memories.

I wish that you are still here on days

When it feels like the whole world is against me.

Every day feels like a nightmare.

A never-ending nightmare.

It encapsulates my mind and heart

Where nothing can penetrate through.

I sometimes sit still,

Remembering all the wonderful memories.

It is calming

Yet it hurts me too calmly.

It is like my shield will never stand strong

As it needs another piece

To forever glue it back

And restore its full glory.

The birds still sing their songs

Even when I desire peace.

They remind me that I’m now alone

And that we will never be again.

I feel tears prick my eyes

As the memories wash through my mind.

The gently glide down my cheeks

As the memories play in my mind.

I allow my emotions to escape,

Freeing myself from eternal pain.

But, it is not easy.

It is not simple.

I remind myself that not everything in life stays

But when I lose something precious,

Special, and important to me…

It is way harder to comprehend.

I still cry myself to sleep at night

Even if three months are no longer here.

I miss my love.

I miss my love…

It still hurts

With the ever growing pain

And never leaving hurt.

It still hurts.

Every time I stroll by our pictures

The torturing pain

Strikes my heart,

Dragging me to the depths of the ground.

The monster will never let me escape.

Never let me be happy, carefree, and alright ever again.

Inside the confines, I struggle to wriggle free

As the chains tighten every move.

I feel so out of place without you.

My guide is no longer here with me.

My angel is no longer here with me.

My love is no longer here with me.

On days, I feel like I have no heart.

I become ruthless,

Never caring about anyone else

Because of the pain in my heart.

The excruciating pain that is growing,

Simmering,

Cooking.

The excruciating pain from you.

Now I wonder if there is anything

Still for me.

The world is turning me back

And I wish that you aren’t the answer.

But, you are.

You are the answer.

I don’t think that is the best though

Because I see you two together and everything crumbles inside.

It still hurts

With the ever-growing pain

And never leaving hurt.

It still hurts.

So, now I think I should try.

Try and move on.

Try and flow with change.

Try and explore new possibilities.

I know you won’t always be there.

I know you won’t always love me.

I know you won’t always embrace me.

I know that you will one day find someone new.

And that day is here.

It is here

Whether I like it or not.

I’m happy for you

But the pain in my heart

Makes it concealable.

I won’t be jealous of her.

I will be happy for her.

The pain in my heart

Will never suffice the hole you fill.

You are no longer here

To be my other half

Making me feel vulnerable,

Fragile, and hurt.

I am never going to be safe again

Because you’re no longer here…